Fear of Failure
Fear rules over all of us and it limits many from achieving a goal they’ve always wanted to do. Think about it, how many of you have said you would like to go sky diving at least once in your life to have the experience but always found an excuse when you actually had the time to take the leap? Maybe you seen the most beautiful girl in the world and you thought she was perfect. Why didn’t you go talk to her? How about the time at your workplace when you didn’t receive that raise or promotion you deserve because you didn’t speak up? How come we allow that shit to happen?
Before we discuss tips to overcome the fear of failure let’s discuss why fear gets in our way. Some of the most common reasons why we let fear dictate our actions are responsibilities, judgment of others, and self-sabotage.
How Fear of Failure overcomes our Desire to Grow.
Most of us here have dependents. There are some people, family or friends, that rely on your support in some fashion. That pressure to not let those people down can hinder you from taking the risks you’ve wanted to take. Instead of saying fuck it and striving for a career that you love you may just bite the bullet and work a miserable job that pays well, or has good insurance for your children… you get the point.
Now don’t get me wrong; if your responsibilities include dependents then your ass better get in gear and make sure you’re taking care of your own…. but that doesn’t mean you can’t try other alternatives on the side right?
Another huge deterrent is the judgment of others. I know first-hand how tough it is to get over this fear. It took me months in my weight loss journey before I tried any free weight exercises because I was terrified that more experienced people would laugh at my fat ass with terrible form. I had social anxiety about as bad as it could get. (Tips on conquering social anxiety)
Then there is self-sabotage. This one may confuse some of you but self-sabotage is absolutely real. How many of you have said “I will never be able to do that” at one point in your life? I’m guessing all of us. Putting doubt in your head before attempting leads to failure… (we should stop that).
Fear Dictates Actions.
Despite the excuses you come up with in your head to justify your actions/ lack of actions the root of these situations are typically one thing. The answer is simple; we allow the fear of failure to dictate our actions.
I think that it is about time that we told fear to fuck off and manifest those emotions in a positive way.
This may seem difficult, hell even impossible to achieve. I would’ve thought so too five years ago. I would have looked at the person who told me to conquer all of my fears and made a million excuses. Now I say bull shit. I say we can conquer our fears and break all of the limitations we put on ourselves.
What’s the Worst that can Happen?
So what has changed in five years that has allowed me to think of shit in a different way? It isn’t because of my weight loss, it isn’t because of any promotions or education I have earned, it is because of something else. I decided to ask myself what is the worst that can happen every time I was hesitant about a situation, action, etc… When I approach situations with that mindset everything changes. You start to see puzzles in your head simplify. Things that you thought were going to take forever to accomplish started taking barely any time. Tasks that were causing a lot of stress and sleepless nights start to be after-thoughts.
Let’s use education for a quick example. We have all been at our desks at three AM trying to finish a paper that is due later that day. We had four weeks to complete the paper but for some reason we always wait until last minute. Instead of writing bit by bit each day we make excuses, or justify our actions and procrastinate. I’m the guiltiest person of all time in regards to procrastination. (Quick tip; deadlines increase productivity) My dumbass crammed for two days writing a twenty page paper that could’ve been accomplished by writing one page a day. The quality would have been better, I would have been able to think about the topic more, and I would have been way less stressed.
So why didn’t I take the logical approach and write one page a day? Sure a mixture of the reasoning’s are that I’m a terrible procrastinator… but the main root of the issue is that I was intimidated. I use to get that weird, overwhelming feeling in my stomach when I had huge projects with deadlines.
Tips to Conquer the Fear of Failure.
Now, after asking myself what is the worst thing that can happen it simplified future projects. I was able to find areas of those projects that could be accomplished easily and other areas that needed time; eventually getting to this giant project of LeapBlogs.
Some other tips I want to emphasize are the following:
- Getting into the habit of being a positive person.
- Once you start thinking about every situation in a positive matter you’ll start to see changes in perspective. Instead of letting all of the little shit that go wrong in your day affect you they start to become irrelevant. You start focusing on the more important things in life such as family, friends, goals, etc. When you have more dedication and are putting more effort into those important areas you’ll see progress.
- Writing down your goals and fears.
- I cannot stress the importance of writing down your goals and fears. Not only does it allow you to wake up every day and see an agenda, it is proven to increase productivity. When you start setting daily, weekly, monthly and yearly goals you’ll find momentum shifts. You’ll find a bigger urge inside of you to accomplish those goals. Once you accomplish daily goals you’ll want to accomplish weekly goals, after weekly you’ll take on the task of monthly goals, you get the point. You will become more confident by smashing those goals and it will motivate you to make even harder goals.
- Putting yourself in the right positions to succeed and accomplish your goals.
- This tip may seem broad because it is… Everyone has different goals, fears, desires, etc… It is up to us as individuals to figure out what we fear and what our goals are. Once we get those two points locked down then it is time to start using resources and tips to conquer or fears. A quick example for a common fear of Glossophobia (fear of public speaking) is the following. Analyze why you’re scared of public speaking. Is it because you’re afraid to embarrass yourself? What can we do to limit the risks of embarrassing yourself? Should we practice more? Possibly do some practice speeches? ect. Limiting the risks of failure and putting yourself in the right positions to succeed will increase your odds of conquering your fear dramatically.
- Asking yourself what is the worst that can happen and take the risks!
- This is the most important tip I can give in regards to pushing through your fears. It simplifies every situation, allows you to shift through the negative bull shit in your head, and forces you to take action. As long as you’re not literally thinking of death as a possible alternative the typical ‘worst thing’ that could happen is something that you will be able to get over in minutes. Not only will this tip force you to take action, it will allow you to experience failure and grow. Even if the worst possible scenario happens after you take the risk it doesn’t mean it ended terribly. You can look at what you learned from the action and how it will improve you in the future. As Conor Mcgregor’s coach John Kavanagh says, “you win or you learn”.
At the end of the day there are no tips, cures, or drugs that will help you overcome your fear of failure long-term. The only thing that can truly help is yourself. You have to put yourself in the right mindset to push through self-made barriers. You will have to go out of your comfort zone and get used to living life out of your comfort zone. If you can do that successfully everything in life will seem that much easier.
If you were to take one piece of information from this and utilize it in your life please try the tips above. Each tip will positively impact you in multiple ways. Be more positive, stop being a negative Nancy, motivate others around you, start seeing little positives inside all of the negatives throughout your day, etc… You’ll quickly find out that there is so much to experience in life that you don’t have time for non-sense like fear holding you back.
If you want more tips regarding living a healthy lifestyle, having mental strength, and living a happy life please subscribe to the email list. You’ll find that I answer loads of questions each week and I’ll answer yours as well. There is exclusive information for email subscribers only so don’t miss out and subscribe below!